created-for-community-counseling

Beware the Ides of March

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 20:40:10 GMT

“Beware the Ides of March” famously immortalized by William Shakespeare as the day Julius Ceasar was assassinated, commonly refers to a turning point.

Life is a constant journey of turning points, each bringing its own set of challenges and opportunities for growth. These transitions can manifest in various forms: moving to a new city, changing careers, experiencing the loss of a loved one, or entering a new stage of life. Each transition represents a significant shift in our circumstances and often requires us to adapt and re-evaluate our identities. During these times, the importance of support systems becomes particularly evident, with confidential groups providing a safe space for individuals to share their experiences, seek guidance, and foster resilience.

One of the most profound aspects of life’s transitions is the emotional turbulence they can evoke. Feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and isolation are common as individuals navigate unfamiliar terrain. In such times, the presence of a supportive group can be invaluable. Confidential groups create an environment where members can express their feelings without fear of judgment. This sense of safety is crucial; it allows individuals to be vulnerable and honest about their struggles, facilitating a deeper connection among group members.

Moreover, sharing personal stories within a confidential group can be transformative. Hearing others articulate their experiences can provide insights that resonate deeply with one’s own situation. This shared understanding fosters empathy and reinforces the notion that one is not alone in their struggles. The knowledge that others have faced similar transitions and have emerged on the other side can instill hope and motivation. Members can share practical advice, empathy, encouragement, resources, and strategies that have worked for them, thereby empowering each other to take proactive steps toward their goals.

Confidential groups also serve as a platform for accountability. When individuals are navigating significant life changes, it can be easy to become stagnant or overwhelmed. However, being part of a group creates a sense of responsibility to oneself and to others. Members can encourage each other to set goals and follow through on them, providing both motivation and support when challenges arise. This accountability can be particularly beneficial during transitions, where the temptation to retreat into comfort zones is strong.

Additionally, the diversity within confidential groups often leads to rich discussions and varied perspectives. Members from different backgrounds and experiences can offer new ways of thinking about a problem or transition. This diversity not only broadens one’s understanding but also fosters creativity in finding solutions. Engaging with others who have different viewpoints can challenge preconceived notions and inspire innovative approaches to navigating life’s changes.

Lastly, the bonds formed in confidential groups teach us how to create lasting friendships, find common ground, creating a network of allies who continue to provide encouragement long after the group sessions have ended.

Life’s transitions are an inherent part of the human experience, bringing both challenges and growth opportunities. Groups can play a pivotal role in helping individuals navigate these changes. By providing a safe space for sharing, accountability, and diverse perspectives, these groups not only assist in coping with transitions but also foster a sense of community that bolsters resilience. As we move through life’s inevitable changes, the connections we build within these supportive environments can be a guiding light, helping us emerge stronger and more equipped for the future. Maybe it’s time for you to join a group? For more information, give us a call or visit createdforcommunity.net.

Hope to see you soon,

Malia and Kristi

Happy February!

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 20:33:35 GMT

Oh my gosh, 2025 is already whizzing by!

Did you know that couples therapy can look like you and/or your partner being in your own therapy group? And at about 25% of the cost.

What? How?

The major aim of couples therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner, and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

The key tasks of couples therapy is increasing your clarity about the kind of life you want to build, the kind of partner you want to be and your individual blocks to doing both successfully.

You can do all of this in a group on your own!

Here is what one partner said to me other day (both partners are in their own group) “I have seen so much growth in my partner over the last year. Thank you so much!”

The work of couples therapy, whether in a group or with your partner, requires you to try new ways of thinking and doing, listening and being curious instead of butting in and staying present and engaged rather than becoming resentful, compliant or withdrawing. Sometimes this much easier to accomplish in a safe, secure group with group members who listen to you, empathize with you, validate you and challenge, confront, and hold you accountable.

You can examine freely the nature of your dance with your partner. What is your part in the distress? Do you really believe your partner is entitled to a different opinion? What are your unruly emotions? When is communication effective? Ineffective? (Hint: blaming, dominating, disengaging, criticizing, whining, denying, and/or complying are not effective!) Do you want to learn more even if it means you must change?

Group therapy is a powerful, effective affordable way to commit to working on yourself and your relationships. Give us a call today to see if you are right for group work and check out our FAQ’s at createdforcommunity.net.

Hope to see you soon at Created for Community.

Love,

Malia & Kristi

Happy New Year!

Wed, 01 Jan 2025 20:31:17 GMT

"The object of a New Year is not that we should have a New Year, it is that we should have a New Soul." - G.K. Chesterton

The beginning of a new year is a great time to do what the Venerable Bruno Lanteri counseled everyone to do, “begin again, immediately.” What beautiful encouraging words that remind us not to get stuck, bogged down, treading water; just give yourself permission to begin again.

What areas of your life are unhealthy? Make a list. Do you have a disordered relationship with a person, food, alcohol, tobacco, pornography, technology? Talk to a trusted person. Explore the disordered relationship and what you would prefer. As Mr. Rodgers used to say, “if we can mention it, we can manage it!” Imagine having a weekly, confidential group where you could come and work on the areas of your life you’d like to improve.

Adulting 101 includes knowing how to take care of your physical body. If your weeks don’t involve regular exercise, breathing practice, adequate sleep, good nutrition and hydration, start there. (Do not pass go, do not collect $200.) If you haven’t had a physical or a dental appointment in the last year, schedule one now.

What some refer to as “mental health,” we think of as soul care. Where are you on the path of your soul’s journey? How do you tend to the part of you that is connected to all of creation? How familiar are you with the parts of you that get in the way of being the best version of yourself? This landscape comprises mindfulness, introspection, meditation, the pursuit of beauty (art, music, nature, healthy relaxation and sensuality), curiosity, silence, solitude and stillness all in pursuit of union with our Creator.

We invite you to contemplate what it would be like to be in a loving, supportive group to journey alongside you into all the nooks and crannies of your life? We are always here to support you individually or in couples and family work, but we know the power and magic of group process and we encourage you to consider it.

Wishing you love and light as you journey on,

Malia & Kristi

What exactly is Group Therapy?

createdforcommunitycounseling@gmail.com (Malia Doss) — Sun, 01 Dec 2024 20:28:50 GMT

Group therapy is therapy where a psychotherapist works with more than one person at a time and group members work with each other.

There are different types of group therapy but the type we are talking about is Interpersonal Group Process. The focus is on relationships and how we are as relational beings, but a variety of conditions can be addressed in this type of group such as Grief and loss, Trauma, Divorce, Low self-concept, Interpersonal skills issues, Major life transitions, Eating disorders, Depression, and Anxiety.

Group therapy often emerges as a more effective therapeutic approach compared to individual therapy for various reasons, supported by empirical research and clinical practice. One major advantage of group therapy is its ability to provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation. According to a study by Yalom and Leszcz (2005), group therapy offers clients the opportunity to connect with others who have similar experiences, fostering a supportive environment where individuals can share and validate their feelings. This communal aspect can be particularly beneficial for individuals struggling with social anxiety, depression, or trauma, as it helps normalize their experiences and reduces feelings of loneliness.

Another key benefit of group therapy is the opportunity for interpersonal learning and feedback. Group settings allow members to interact and provide feedback to one another, which can enhance self-awareness and personal growth. Research by Corey and Corey (2014) highlights that the feedback received from peers in a group can often be more impactful and insightful than that from a therapist alone. This dynamic helps individuals gain new perspectives and coping strategies that are grounded in real-life interactions.

Cost-effectiveness is another factor favoring group therapy. It allows therapists to work with multiple clients simultaneously, making it a more affordable option for many people. A study by McDermut et al. (2001) found that group therapy is often more economically viable and provides comparable therapeutic benefits to individual therapy, making mental health care more accessible to a broader population.

Moreover, group therapy can enhance therapeutic outcomes through the development of social skills. Participants practice interpersonal skills in a safe environment, which can lead to improved relationships outside the therapy setting. This practical application of social skills is crucial for sustained progress and is less emphasized in individual therapy.

Love,

Malia & Kristi

Holiday Tips for the Soul

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 19:16:12 GMT

We are a week out from Thanksgiving and then a few more weeks until Christmas

The holidays can be such a challenging time for many people. In the best of times, the stress that comes with overscheduling, financial demands, winter illnesses, forced socializing, short days and cold weather can tax even the heartiest among us. Many people have unrealistic expectations and if their lives don’t look like a Hallmark movie, they feel let down and disappointed. The holidays amp up and add to family challenges: having to spend time with people you don’t want to or in ways that don’t suit you, old wounds get surfaced, overindulgence in food and alcohol, political discord, disconnection, separation, loneliness, and having to travel are among some of the things that stress our systems. The holidays are so commercialized and for many have lost their meaning. All of this can result in a lot of ick and the holiday season begins to take on weight.

Soul care is important year-round but is especially important in the sprint that is Halloween through New Year’s Day. Our advice is to simplify, simplify, simplify. You really don’t have to cut down your Christmas tree, do the cookie exchange, the gingerbread decorating contest, zoo lights, the Gaylord, a candlelight concert, go ice skating, take in a holiday market, ride the Santa train, do elf on the shelf…you get the idea.

Put first things, first. What do you value, what’s important to you, what do you cherish? Don’t forgo taking care of yourself. Do the basics (exercise, eat healthy-ish, drink lots of water and get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.) Don’t give up your quiet time, remember silence, solitude and stillness are soul food. What about the holidays nourishes your soul? Do those things and remember, less is more.

Spend time in meaningful connection with others. This involves conversation, contemplation, probing, listening, introspection, authenticity and vulnerability. Do you have a place to do this on a regular and consistent basis? Group therapy provides these opportunities in a safe, confidential and curated way. Come experience a place where you can share your experiences and get validation and guidance on how to navigate this season and every season.

Love,

Malia & Kristi

Welcome to Created for Community!

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 22:17:32 GMT

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. – John 13:34– John 13:34

Why in an age of increased connectivity are our lives more isolated and fragmented than ever? And what can be done about it?

Americans pride themselves on rugged individualism. While this self-view is romantic and evokes images of the tough individuals who came to a new land, conquered the west and created our nation, one result several hundred years into our great experiment is an epidemic of loneliness. Most people wear a mask of “all is well”, hiding the pain and challenge of their lives, confiding in few, and pretending that everything is just fine with their lives.

We know that truth. We hear it every day in our offices.

Paul Tripp says in his book, Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy, "We weren't created to be independent, autonomous, or self-sufficient. We were made to live in a humble, worshipful, and loving dependency upon God and in a loving and humble interdependency with others. Our lives were designed to be community projects. Yet, the foolishness of sin tells us that we have all that we need within ourselves. So, we settle for relationships that never go beneath the casual. We defend ourselves when the people around us point out a weakness or a wrong. We hold our struggles within, not taking advantage of the resources God has given us." (p. 147)

We are here to tell you about one such resource. Long time Marriage and Family Therapists and friends, Malia Doss and Kristi Willhoft, share a vision of creating therapeutic space for individuals to come together in community for healing, growth and transformation. That space is Created for Community located in Castle Rock.

Malia has participated in these kinds of groups for many years both as a member and a facilitator. When she read “Anatomy of the Soul” by Curt Thompson as part of her training program for Ignatian Spiritual Direction, she learned about Dr. Thompson’s ‘Confessional Communities’ and knew instantly that God was calling her to move her practice in this direction.

“I have always loved groups over individual therapy, even though in the beginning, it is always scary as heck” says Malia. Group therapy offers unique advantages over individual therapy, including a sense of community, interpersonal feedback, cost-effectiveness, and social skills development, making it a valuable option for many individuals seeking mental health support. Malia and Kristi offer same sex groups as well as co-ed groups, Monday-Friday, mornings, afternoons and evenings. We would love to talk to you or your organization about why we think healing in community is a powerful modality that must be consider.